Dealing with life's challenges
Life is not fair. This saying summarizes the negative feelings all of us encounter when hard-pressed and facing adversity. Whether it is loss of life, sadness, disappointment, loathing or money troubles the emotional feelings of set back haunt everyone at some stage. To move forward in the presence of adverse circumstances we have to stop searching for the reasons why we experienced failure or extreme grief and contextualize our existence. We live as but only individuals amongst the vast expanse of the universe. As individuals, we make up a miniscule fraction of the entire population on earth and our appreciation of what constitutes wholeness and happiness depends on the social interplay of the social circle we find ourselves in. Put in simple terms, our present grief would have been experienced differently in a different social context. Can it be then that the very adversity which catapulted us into our grief is a reason in itself to pursue a new path, a changed direction to embrace fresh social acceptance.
The spiritual writer C.S. Lewis commented that we experience pain in order to be able to appreciate happiness for without the pain, we would not be able to comprehend what joy is. This explanation is of no comfort to the parents who lost a child or the businessman who lost his possessions. The adaptation of oneself after experiencing grief is the key to improvement. Accept that you are no longer the same person. Your situation has changed you. You have to think differently and even do things in a new way. Move away, exchange your car for a motorcycle, change careers, become a single person again. Any social change you take on will bring you closer to healing. Although faith is not to be discarded as unhelpful, it will be a constant reminder of the grief and prevent you from being able to forget. The positive elements of self-improvement through social change are undeniable. By removing the individual from the social context where the adversity occurred, one can start experiencing new beginnings and imprint fresh references of joy. On this journey in pursuit of healing the change in social context not only helps you forget, it also improves the prospects of finding purpose in life. As soon as you start experiencing new personal milestones, the reliance of what was fades away and the grief will be manageable.