She amazes me every day. Her personality is like the fountain of youth, it never gets old. I feel rather hypnotized when I stare into her eyes; they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Height isn’t in her favor, but her smile makes up for what flaws, if any, she may have. Every time I see her gorgeous face, I can not help myself; I put on the biggest, happiest smile I could ever pull off, every time I lay eyes on her. The feeling of uncontrollable excitement flows through my body, off the charts, when I think about her, which is basically all the time. It’s almost like she completes me and delivers me my happiness. She makes my world stop spinning backwards. I’ve always wondered if I still cross her mind, wondering if she thinks about me as much as I do her.

There is a feeling I have, unlike any other, that tells me she does, and I believe it. This feeling is what drives me, it makes me wonder, should I try to get her back for real this time? About a year ago, a week or two off from now is where all of these feelings come from. We met in second period geometry class, and, of course, we exchanged cell phone numbers and began text messaging each other right off the bat. Before I even knew who she was, and what she was about, I was head over heels. When I first laid eyes on her, I felt as if I could stare into her beautiful eyes forever, and my whole life would make sense. We had a bonfire at one of my friend’s houses, and I invited her over so we could finally hang out together. We sat together and watched the fire and our stupid friends try to burn everything in sight, and we talked for hours. It came time for her to leave, and I walked her out to the front yard where she was getting picked up. It was like something out of a movie; it was our first kiss. I felt nervous, but I had to do it, she was too beautiful for me not to, and that is why that night was one of the best nights of my life.

Before we started dating, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I was so in love with me best friend, but she had a boyfriend. I knew I had to move on, because it simply just wasn’t going to happen, so I tried to do just that; it didn’t work. I liked my girlfriend so much, and I did not know how to tell her. Weeks went by, and I fell harder, and faster for her, almost forgetting who I was trying to forget, until one night, when the same girl I wanted to forget about tried to come back into my life. I was so confused and scared. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to hurt either of them, but I ended hurting more than just my girlfriend; I hurt myself. We ended up apart, and that’s when I realized how stupid I was. The girl I tried forgetting was just jealous of me, and was playing mind games with me, because she was angry that I was happy without her. I hurt that poor girl in so many ways, before and after we broke up. I still regret being so stupid; she meant the world to me, and I didn’t have the courage to tell her. About several months after we broke up, we started “talking” again. I was still so into her, but she thought it was a simple crush and nothing more. I wish I would have told her how I really felt about her. She would have a boyfriend occasionally and every time we tried getting back together she broke up with whoever she was with, no questions asked. I want to know what made her come back, and what made her stop.

This year is different. I realize now how important she is to me, and how stupid I am to let some conniving girl of mine ruin what made me happy. Well, things started out fine, we started talking and text messaging each other, until I found out she was in a relationship. I tried everything I could to get her to understand how I felt, but she just wouldn’t understand. I asked for guidance from some people I assumed were my friends, but they twisted every word I said, and now she won’t even look at me. It’s like I need her, just like how the ocean needs to beach to contain it. I want to tell her how I feel before it is too late. Seeing her everyday and knowing she’s not in my arms are all the punishment I need in life. Nothing can compare to the pain. I know I did her wrong, and I know that I will always have feelings for her; at least that’s what I knew before everyone tried interrupting. I need to tell her how I feel; I need to let her know that there is no one who made me feel this way, and how much she meant to me. I want to apologize to her fro everything I did to her, all the un-kept promises, the mistakes, the games I used to play on her. I wanted to tell her the one thing that I feel now, this phrase that has never left my mouth for anyone, besides my mother, “I love you.”